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The majority of black women are not very open about what they like in a guy. The problem here is that our society has conditioned us to only find white guys attractive, and black women are not as open as white women. This has a lot top sexy black men to do with social conditioning. For a start, black women don't like having their appearance judged because of the way we were raised.
The second big problem for us is that we aren't taught to have fun or have fun easily. If you are white, you might be raised to be a happy-go-lucky-little-kid type of person. You don't need a lot of lessons about how to be happy. The thing is, we've spent so much time looking for people who aren't happy. As a result, we spend so much time thinking about how we want to have fun, and we just don't know how. The only way to get to this place is to be more comfortable with your emotions. A third problem is that we are still afraid of how to get girls. We still don't understand how to say "yes." We still feel like we can't say no. We also don't know how to express our true feelings. So we have to do this by not really saying anything. I remember when I first started dating, I didn't know what it was like to date a girl. I had met so many girls at the bar who just weren't the right age or kind of person to date. Now I have a good idea. I know what to say to a girl. But I'm not quite sure how to do it. How to express my emotions. I know I love you. I know that you love me. But how do I say that? What do I do when she says that? It makes me sad. It makes me angry. I want to tell her, but I don't know how. I've been trying to understand how to say "I love you." I've tried saying, "I love you." It doesn't work for me. And then I read this article by an American woman, and she said, "I don't like being treated as some sort of subhuman. It's not like I am less of a human being because of what I do." You don't have to do this, but I thought that was so important that I wanted to share.
In the book, "My Life with a Black Man: Conversations with Black Women," the author, Jennifer Lee, goes to work in a women's prison in Texas and meets with the women there who are being held against their will because of their race. Some of them were brought up as slaves and the women have been held for decades, like those who are here today. This woman, she says, "gave me the idea of loving dominican republic single man's paradise her the way I do. She never asked me, 'Are you a good person?'" This is so powerful, and the thing that made me think about this more is, she's been there, she's seen what this woman is going through, and I read that she was going to give me that same love. It's something that makes me think about my own relationships, and I'm sure it makes the women in this prison in Texas think.
So the last time I was in prison, one of the things that really struck me, and it's something I hadn't really considered, was that it's so different from the prison that sexy old black ladies I grew up in. I was a black girl in a black neighborhood, in a poor, black area of Houston, Texas. It wasn't even close. So when I heard that the governor had given a pardon to a man who was involved in raping a woman in that area, and I was like, "Wow, you must be really surprised," because I had no idea what a person from a poorer area would have to deal with. I was completely unprepared for what that person was going through, and what that area was like, and that he could be released. So I didn't know, that I was the reason.